Spare the rod and spoil the child. Proverbs 13:24

This is a true Scripture quoted to cause Christians to believe that they must “spank” or “cause pain” to their children who don’t do the right thing–or in many cases to excuse abuse. But this Proverb was a “wise saying,” not a command, given during the Old Covenant or Mosaic Law and is not repeated in the New Covenant or its record in the New Testament.  It in no way relates to “Fathers do not exasperate your children.” (Ephesians 6:4) or “love believes all things…” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

We teach children that hitting is not the way to resolve issues; then we hit them.

While it’s true that a qualification of being an elder is to be one “whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient,” the same passage also states that a qualified person is not to be a “striker” (literal Greek translation). Titus 1:5-7

When a large child on a playground hits or in other ways hurts a smaller child, what do we call the larger child?  Right.  A bully.  We tell them to go pick on someone their own size.  Yet many teach that a man who is five or six times larger than a small child should hit the child when he or she doesn’t live up to expectations.

Rather, Jesus said that children are very valuable to him and should be cared for and not caused to stumble:

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.  Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! Matthew 18:1-7